Why is it okay that there is an entire sisterhood of broadcast journalists who have been trained—as a matter of career survival—to numb themselves to offensive, questionable behavior? Why do we tell ourselves being uncomfortable, objectified, or sexually harassed in person or online is just “part of the job”?
It shouldn’t be commonplace for your station orientation to include a gift of pepper spray and warning about the “crazy guy” you must steer clear of. I’m sick of shrugging, rolling my eyes and moving on. In fact, the #MeToo movement has made me realize I’m part of the problem. If I fail to identify or confront immoral behavior, I am making it acceptable.
When I look at my baby boy, I am determined to raise him to be polite, kind and respectful of women. I want him to know we’re strong and independent; that we will speak up for ourselves and one another. However, I also know he’s growing up in a world filled with temptation and bad examples. Between the landmines of sexual content on social media and easily accessible pornography, he will be exposed to a barrage of messages running counter to my goals.
Later, when he’s old enough, when he asks or the opportunity arises; we will have these conversations. Will they be uncomfortable? Sure. However, I believe teen boys need to hear about sexual harassment from the person they trust most. I certainly hope it’s me. Moreover, if he ever finds himself victimized or in an uncomfortable situation, he needs to know I’m listening and it’s okay to speak up.
During my decade in TV news, I’ve been fortunate to have avoided the worst forms of harassment. Many other women I’ve worked with have not been so lucky. They’ve been forced to file restraining orders, call the police, or request station intervention after receiving 50+ (sometimes more) disturbing emails per day. Did you know local TV anchors are one of the most stalked populations? It’s an unintended consequence of our efforts to appear approachable and warm. This piece from Psychology Today explains it well.
Making frequent reference to my marriage helped me dodge most attacks. I was “taken” and therefore of less interest. That said, I want my son to understand non-criminal harassment behaviors are also damaging and could be a gateway to more serious offenses.
Yes, I’m in the public eye. But when I post a #ThrowbackThursday photo from my collegiate cheerleading days, it doesn’t give you the right to send me an explicit message detailing what you’d like me to do in your bedroom while wearing that outfit. When I turn my back and walk away after interviewing you, calling out “nice ass” or “nice rack” isn’t a compliment. And no, I’m not going to “fulfill your sexual desires” by taking off my high heels to send you a picture of my feet.
I asked some of my fellow broadcasters to recount their experiences. Out of respect for their privacy and that of their viewers, I won’t be their sharing names, only their stories. One recalled a man cornering her aggressively at a local business expo.
Another encounter happened at a charity benefit for a domestic violence shelter. She had volunteered for the dunk tank on a very chilly day. Thinking ahead, the meteorologist choose her clothing carefully, opting for black, multiple layers and a very padded bra.
It’s no better online. “Silent” harassment through social media is rampant in broadcasting. Sadly, I have plenty of examples too profane to include here. Female broadcasters are under attack daily doing our jobs. Don’t like the media? That’s fine, but you can express that opinion without calling me a bitch, slut, whore or…. (you get the idea). I want my son to know a computer screen is not a cloak of invisibility, nor does not give you pass on personal decency and decorum.
It’s important to point out the vast majority of viewers I’ve interacted with have been nothing but wonderful. I consider them friends and have even stayed in touch with many of them after moving. Unfortunately, bad apples ruin the bunch—and we’re letting them.
#MeToo has us reconsidering. There is strength in numbers. We’re bolder, wiser and willing to defend ourselves during a verbal onslaught.
I sincerely hope this empowerment continues. It’s time to stop shrugging off our collective experiences, even the small things. If we pretend harassment doesn’t happen, if we ignore it, we are perpetuating the cycle.
So dear Hudson, no matter what society tells you, remember this…
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Jane Fetting | 19th Jan 18
Beautifully written and spot on!
laveremis | 22nd Jan 18
Thanks for the kind words Jane.
| 19th Jan 18
A very well-written article Lindsay, so proud of the woman you are!!
laveremis | 22nd Jan 18
Erin | 23rd Jan 18
Excellent. This is so important as a mother! Thank you for your eloquent thoughts and guidance! You are a treasure!
laveremis | 24th Jan 18
Appreciate the note Erin, there’s so much to learn while raising a boy!
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[…] in the broadcasting world and particularly my interactions with strangers on social media (this post details it). Let’s just say when men (you’ve never met before) use the word “sexy” […]
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